Mastering Self-Settling

Helping your six month old learn to link sleep cycles & love their bed

Learning to self-settle is a big milestone for babies (and for VERY TIRED parents who just want to remember what it's like to get through one coherent sentence without needing a coffee the size of their head) and around 6 months is a great time to start encouraging this skill. Before we get into it, we want to reassure you that encouraging self-settling is not about leaving your baby to cry; it's about helping them develop healthy sleep habits while encouraging positive associations with bedtime. We don’t think there is any point in teaching babies that bed is a place where their needs won't be met.  Any quick google search will tell you that it's normal for babies to wake periodically at night, especially after midnight when they transition from deep to light sleep. We're not here to suggest that your baby is unusual if they wake at midnight; instead, we recommend making changes - that can be as gentle or as gradual as you’re comfortable with - to their routines and sleep environment to help them settle back into sleep more easily when they wake in the night.

Why 6 Months?

Between 4-6 months, babies undergo significant neurological and circadian rhythm maturation. One of the most important sleep developments occurring around 6 months is the ability to link sleep cycles. Before this, babies often fully wake at the end of each 40-50 minute sleep cycle, and need help getting back to sleep (through rocking, feeding, etc.) However, by 6 months, many babies begin developing the ability to transition from one sleep cycle to the next. This makes it a great time to introduce some simple strategies to help them learn to settle themselves. By 6 months, babies are also more sensitive to light and sound, so addressing any issues with their sleep environment is more important than ever.

Our tips:

Between 4-6 months: 

Establishing good sleep habits early on makes things easier later. Some strategies to implement between 4-6 months include:

• Bedtime routine: Start a relaxing pre-sleep routine (like a bath, reading, or singing) about 30 minutes before bedtime. Avoid screens or bright lights and wind down any activities or play that is very stimulating. 

• Sleep environment: Keep the room dark, quiet, and at an appropriate temperature. We also recommend you use a white noise that will play all night (not one that turns off after a set time).

• Put baby to bed awake: From 4 months, start to put your baby down to bed when they're awake and then assist them all the way to sleep with patting, singing, etc. while they’re in their bed. If you’re feeding to sleep, try to feed until they are drowsy and heavy in your arms but not all the way asleep and then pop them in their bed. This helps prepare them for the time when they will be developmentally ready to fall asleep on their own without relying on feeding or rocking. Not all babies will be ready for this before 6 months; give your baby opportunities to settle in their bed, but always take their lead and respond to their individual needs. 

• Night wakings: When responding to your baby at night, use minimal light and avoid playtime to show that nighttime is for sleeping.

From 6 months old: 

1. If your baby stirs, pause for a few moments before responding. This gives them a chance to settle down on their own. We don't recommend letting your baby 'cry it out'; it's crucial to respond to their needs while they learn to settle themselves. Creating positive associations with bed and sleep is vital. We want babies to feel safe, happy, and calm in their sleep space, rather than associating it with stress or discomfort. One-size-fits-all “sleep training” techniques are not always going to be helpful or appropriate. When you book an appointment with us, we listen in order to understand your needs and concerns, your parenting style, and your baby’s temperament before making thoughtful suggestions for your family. 

2. Make sure your baby isn't overtired or under-tired. Adjust their awake times to prevent resistance to sleep. When your baby is showing signs that they are ready to drop a daytime nap, extend awake times gradually. If you would like us to write you an individualised sleep plan based on your baby’s sleep needs and temperament, you can book a consultation here. 

3. If your baby still relies on feeding or rocking to sleep, gradually reduce these habits. For example, shorten the rocking time each night or offer a comfort object instead. A soft toy can provide reassurance when you're not there; use it consistently during naps and bedtime. For support and guidance in managing sleep associations, book an appointment with us. 

Learning to self-settle takes time, and every baby is different. Success hinges on consistency above all else. Regardless of the strategy you choose for your family and baby, maintaining a consistent approach will be the key to achieving your goals.  Don't worry if there are setbacks—just stay patient, consistent, and celebrate the small wins. And remember, we are always happy to guide you through.